Tales From A 6th Grade Reporter – Legend Of The Spitball King Exerpt

LOSER EXAMPLE #3

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Finally, this has to be my most humiliating experience ever!  I love to sing but I don’t have a great voice.  Actually, that’s an understatement!  My voice is so bad that I’ve been known to drive dogs bonkers!

In fact, I was attacked by a pack of disgruntled dogs on my way home from school one day after they realized it was me who had melted their eardrums!

What I want to know is… How did they know it was me?  Do they have some kinda inter-communication network like the CIA that can instantly find and annihilate their enemies?

Anyway, here’s all the ugly details.

I had just been talking to my best friend Mikey on Skype about how much we hate those singers who use auto-tuning to fix their voice.  It’s just so unnatural.  You know the deal.  It sounds as if a computer was doing all the singing.  I mean, come on!  Don’t they know it’s become like… so annoying!

Well, I had to open my big mouth!  That’s right!  I told him I could sing much better than any of those singers who use the fake auto-tuning stuff.

The problem was… I forgot to turn off my webcam and I hit the record button by accident instead!

I ended up filming myself singing some stupid Justin Beiber song in my underwear!  But not just any underwear… oh no!  It was the Scooby Doo underwear that my crazy Aunt Margaret gave me for my birthday last year!

Someone got a hold of that video and it went viral really fast on YouTube.  I still don’t know who it was but I had people laughing at me all the time in school, at my church and even at the supermarket for months!

This never would have happened had my mother washed my regular underwear that day!  Those Scooby Doo briefs were just an emergency pair in case I ran out of clean underwear.

I had to wear a hat and sunglasses for months to hide my face from all the gawkers who were laughing at me wherever I went!

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